Watch The Rain
by FantasyTrepie14
Summary: Quistis' thoughts on a lonely rainy day....


Watch The Rain  
  
-By FantasyTrepie14  
  
  
  
The large pelts of water lightly splashed against the windowpane. She sat and watched a drop of precipitation slide down the glass. At first very slowly, then much more rapidly. Its path left behind, but still very visible. The moisture gathered into the flowerpot, giving nutrients to the doubled headed chrysanthemums. After a few mere minutes, the entire window was drenched, and the view to the outside world was blurred. But that's how things always were. Blurred. Unclear. All her thoughts… all her feelings, they were distorted. Disoriented beyond normality. Nothing was the way it should be.  
  
Her own feelings were twisted so that they would seem acceptable. Was it so wrong to love someone unconditionally? A 'brother.' No, she didn't love him like a younger brother. Perhaps, she wanted to protect him. Although, her sort of love surpassed that of a sister. But she could never make him see. Her passion overwhelmed inside her aching body until she trembled. This deep hole inside of her chest called out for his love. But what was she to do? He didn't love her with matching compassion…and he couldn't. No one could love this way. She felt him, she understood him. He was the second half of the soul she had always been missing.  
  
But why should she be exempt? At least she recognized her true love. Unlike…them. Rinoa and Squall could continue to live in blindness. They would never know. The situation and confusion shielded his eyes. The young damsel in distress forced herself into his life. But no, Quistis wouldn't do that. She would never do that to him. He could decide for himself. He was free to choose as he pleased. She would never force anything upon him. But...perhaps that was her fault. Had she not tried hard enough to make him see? No, if he loved her… he would have come to her a long time ago.  
  
~"Go talk to a wall…"~  
  
Quistis stood from her seat, and pulled the window open. She held a cupped palm to the rain, letting the drops fall into her hand. The liquid slowly filled, then outpoured over the sides, and through the cracks of her fingers. The slight chill of the cool breeze filled the room. Rain poured in through the open window, and splattered onto the tile floors of her classroom. This room…was where she had gotten to know him the most. His silence. His withdrawal. His coldness to the outside world told everything she needed to know. The young blonde pulled a chrysanthemum out from its roots. Muddy soil dripped down into the earth of the flowerpot. Quistis brought her hand indoors and, after taking one last look into the cloudy sky, shut the window.  
  
She stared down at the flower. Bringing up her thin fingers, she stroked the small petals of the blooming plant. A small droplet slid down a petal, and dangled until its weight forced it to take the final fall. The beauty of the flower was amazing. It almost… moved Quistis. But nothing moved her anymore. Nothing aside from him. He was the only one that could cause a stir of emotion inside her cold body.  
  
"Flowers fade…and wither…" Quistis thought aloud. Beauty was just a shell. No matter how remarkably striking this flower may be, with its deep red petals, and long stiff stem, it would only be this. A flower. It would die, and be forgotten. But Squall, was not only beautiful on the outside… But it was what he possessed inside that Quistis admired. His strength and courage. His ambition and intuition. Rinoa could never appreciate these qualities. A dark look crossed Quistis' face as she tightly squeezed the flower. The petals of the once living blossom were now crushed. One by one, they drifted to the floor, and made their final resting place at her feet. This beauty was not allowed. Artificial, transparent beauty should never exist. Only everlasting…  
  
Quistis could not count the number of times she had almost used 'Save The Queen' to save herself. But she couldn't. She wasn't a queen. If Rinoa was a princess, then Quistis was a lowly peasant. Overlooked, and overrun. She mattered not to the highest of position, or the guardian of love. But every time she was at the brink… the fine line between life and death, something held her back. Although death would have been the sweetest taste, there was always something sweeter. Every time the last hurt was all she could take, something grasped her into life. The smallest hope. The most miniscule breath of opportunity took hold into her lungs, and advised Quistis to release her death grip.  
  
He could learn. He could convert. He could wake up one morning and suddenly realize the love of his life was patiently waiting for him to grasp her into his arms and never let go. He could feel the love in his heart Quistis had been hiding for as long as she could remember.  
  
…But that was never to be. And Quistis knew it. Many would think she of all people would know a hopeless case when come across one. The logical, smart instructor she was would never pursue a battle she couldn't win. But love changes things. And it changes people. They had all changed over the years. But she remained isolated… solitaire in her own thoughts.  
  
The creaking of hinges snapped Quistis out of her train of thought. She turned her head from the window to see Rinoa walking into the room.  
  
"Hey Quistis." Rinoa greeted. Quistis nodded, acknowledging Rinoa's presence.  
  
She wanted to scream. She wanted to express her hurt, bottled up emotions to the one who was hindering her happiness. But, nothing came out. She knew she couldn't blame Rinoa… Fingers are not to be pointed, but to be broken.  
  
"We're all going to Dollet for the evening, you wanna come?" Rinoa asked, and flashed an inviting smile.  
  
Quistis adjusted her position so she was gazing back out towards the sky. Her misty eyes reflected back from the glass. And a slight fog rested on the window, as she slowly exhaled. Another day had passed…and she had let him escape her. Perhaps… another day…  
  
"No thank you. I'm just going to stay here…And watch the rain…" 


End file.
